6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
