...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
