this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
