I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
