I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
