Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
