Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
