I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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