i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
