In America we eat man semen.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
