I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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