Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
