Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
