garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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