i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
