i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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