Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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