I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
