I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Too much gin, very little bucket
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
