I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
