Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I smell stomach acid.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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