I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
