he shaved USA in his pubs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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