It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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