Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I will pee on everything he values.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
