woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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