Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
