You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
