I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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