YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
