Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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