Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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