they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
