i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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