The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
