do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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