i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
