Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
