Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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