Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
