I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
