Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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