guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize