Define "chronic" masturbator.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
