were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
