The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
there is glitter all over my balls
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