I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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