I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
