In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
