Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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