as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
