I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
