my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
