So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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