better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
