you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
