I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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