thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
