she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
