Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
