he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
