i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
