It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
