Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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