Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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